to get to what the recipe directions call a “cool room temperature” so that I can begin the process of rolling and folding my dough.
This is only my second attempt at making butter croissants at home. I absolutely love the smell, taste, feel and texture of butter croissants, completely, like nothing else in my entire life. Anyone who has worked with me and has paid attention knows this about me if they do not know one other thing about me.
Unfortunately, my first attempt was a few years ago and it was a total disaster. I almost swore off baking all together afterwards but here I am back at it again. If nothing else, I persist until I succeed at something that I wish to accomplish.
For me, I just sort of feel a compulsion, a drive inside of me that keeps pushing me forward until I finally get it done. Kind of like what a train engine or caboose does to push or pull what is in between to get it to where it needs to go.
As many of you know, I will be retiring this year and that has given me much food for thought about what I will be doing with all the newly acquired time that I will be gaining. My boss puts it as, “needing a plan” and she is exactly right.
I like to think that I will have no problem filling that time because I look around me at my apartment and I can see that there is so much for me to be doing that needs to be done. However, what I see that needs to be done isn’t anything really that I want to be doing.
I know that many of you know exactly what I am talking about. That’s right! Housework! ugh!
Don’t get me wrong, I love living in a clean apartment and I do do what needs to be done, (for the most part, that is) but my expectations are totally unrealistic because I always expect that once I’ve done something, I want it to stay that way, forever because I don’t want to have to do it again, ever and knowing how ridiculous that sounds doesn’t change the fact that that’s how I feel.
Realistically speaking though, I already know that not much more housework than I have been doing is really going to get done just because I’ll be home and have the time to do it. Getting really honest here, I know me! Simple as that. I have always spent any free time that I’ve had pursuing things that I have a great amount of interest in. Life is too short and like my Mom used to say, “the dishes are always going to be there”, but my plan is to budget so I can afford to have help keeping my home in a livable state.
Since I decided for sure that I would be retiring this year, and with everything that has been going on in my life lately, my head is chock full of thoughts about a lot of stuff.
Obviously, a good deal of my time will be spent writing this blog. I write even if no one ever reads. Writing is another thing that I feel a compulsion to do. I think especially since I have lived by myself. It’s not that I have any more thoughts than I ever used to, it’s just that now I do not have anyone here to listen to my thoughts.
My daughter Katie was a good listener. She told me once that she loved hearing my stories. Katie was the one person in my entire life who acted like she liked hearing what I had to say.
One of the greatest compliments I ever received came from Katie. She told me about an incident that happened to her in school that day where a boy in chorus pulled the chair out from under her as she went to sit down and how embarrassed and hurt that she felt when she ended up on the floor. My heart went out to her and I told her I knew what it was like to be targeted like that. I shared a story of my own with her and she told me that if she had known me when I was a little girl, she would have been my friend. How I miss her so.
I have a plaque that one of my customers gave to me for a Christmas present one year with the following written on it, [When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say,] “I used everything you gave me.”….Erma Bombeck (an American humorist who had a syndicated newspaper column titled, “At Wit’s End” from 1965-1996
For anyone who might be interested in knowing how the croissants turned out, I will let you know in a future post.
Thank you for reading.