Sjs59's Blog

one tiny voice among many

Family Values






As many of you have deducted so far by reading my blog, this is the space that I use to process the thoughts that stream through my head.  

My ex-husband used to tell me that I think too much.  At the times that he would say that to me, it used to sound like a bad thing, more or less.  It was like it was a put down and for anyone who knows him, I’m sure that’s how he meant it to sound so that I would feel bad about me and stop questioning him.

Although he was right about my thinking too much, I no longer feel bad that I do it.   It is my way of making my way through something that I feel the need to make sense of.  I used to talk over my thoughts with my daughter and she used to be able to sometimes help me see things from a different perspective but when you live alone there is only one perspective.

The most recent and constant thing that is troublesome to me is the relationship that I have with my granddaughters….I would love for us to feel closer to one another.

With one, I can not seem to say anything right when I see her and she feels guilty when she talks to me. 

With the other, because we have a good time when we spend time together, I think it is the beginning of a new relationship and then weeks and sometimes months go by and I don’t hear from her…like every time is the first time.

I have a fear that I will be dead by the time they can appreciate that I am their grandmother and could also be a very good friend to them.

I know that many folks want to believe that death comes a long, long time from now but I am realistic and I know that I am closer to my end than I am my beginning.

My parents died in their mid seventies.  I am 63 years old and it is only God who knows when it is someone’s time to be brought home for sure.  I’m also smart enough to know that 10, 12 or 15 years goes by very quickly.

This is Edward Wm. Windsor Brittain and Natalie Gertrude (Hull) Brittain…..they are my mother’s parents. 

grandma & grandpa

When I think about them, it’s more a remembrance of how their house looked and smelled to me.  As soon as we walked into the house all you could smell was freshly brewed coffee in combination with pipe tobacco and the scent of the natural materials that the house was made up of and very clean.  So clean that we didn’t dare move or do anything to mess it up when we were there.

I liked Grandpa more than I liked Grandma,,,,he seemed to pay a little more attention to us than she did.  I remember him taking us outside to see his garden and down into the cellar and showing us what he was working on in his workshop.

I also remember that Grandpa took very good care of Grandma. From an early age we knew that Grandma had what people called “spells”.  She had had an operation to have a tumor removed from her brain and afterwards had epileptic seizures as a result and Grandpa always made sure that he was around when she needed him to be.  I really liked that about him,,,,he seemed like a really good man. 

This is Alfred Joseph Couture and Marie Malvina (Milcent) Couture,,,,my father’s parents.
memere & pepere

I think I was about 3 years old when Pepere died and I don’t remember him at all.  Memere, on the other hand was very memorable.

On most every Sunday, we used to go with my father to pick her up after we went to church.  Dad used to take her to the cemetery to visit Pepere’s grave and then to our house afterwards.

From the time that she first got into the car, she complained….or at least to all of us kids, that’s what it sounded like, and it was said in french so we wouldn’t understand what she was saying.

My poor father, I remember him saying so many times to her, “Oh Ma, stop” and “speak English”.

From the English that Memere did speak, all our cousins were smarter, and more talented than any of us and she made sure that she bragged to us every chance that she got.  Some of us she liked and some she didn’t like so much and she really wasn’t shy about letting us know which were which.

All I can say is that it was much better seeing Memere go home than it was to see her arrive.

I swore that when I had grandchildren of my own that I would be a better grandmother to them than my grandparents had been to me and my brothers and sisters.

Except for the first few years after my daughter Katie died, I thought I had been a very good and pretty hands on kind of grandmother.

I was present for the birth of my first granddaughter and missed the delivery of my second granddaughter because I took a break from watching my former daughter in law in labor and went outside for a cigarette….nobody thought it was that close…..especially me!  

I made a home for my son and his first daughter when his wife wanted to play Army for a while.  Between Katie and I, we made sure that the baby was well taken care of while her father was at work….and even continued to do so after “the Mom” came back from the Army and liked sleeping until noon almost every day.   

I loved and accepted all the babies.  Never chose favorites and I babysat when I was needed and never minded having them all at the same time in my home.

I read them bedtime stories, got down on the floor on my hands and knees and played hide and seek, sat through tea parties and played dress up and rocked and held them when they were tired and fussy.  When I called, they all seemed to want to talk to me.

I remembered all their birthdays and sent them cards with a little something inside and sent packages filled with candy and cookies at the holidays.  I always thought it would let them know that I still thought about them and cared about them and when they called to thank me, we would get to talk but I always seemed to have to call them to see if the package had arrived.

When they moved to Florida, I thought I had found a creative way for us to stay in touch.  I wrote the beginning of a story and sent it to them.   I thought that they could add their own content to the story and send it back to me to add more to it and so on and so forth.

I thought their input would give me some insight into who they were as people and that we would stay connected.  I can’t remember for sure but I think I might have even sent them return, stamped, self addressed envelopes to make it easier for them to stay in touch but the story was never returned to me.

I used to feel confident that I would always be enough.

Enough for them to just love me and want to be around me because I was Memere even though they had people telling them things like, “I hate that word Memere” and spending tons of money on gifts and candy for them.

I thought that my grandkids would be taught that I had value because of who I was, their grandmother.  

It is what I had been taught by my parents.  That my grandparents had value because of who they were and it is what I taught my kids, that my parents, and also their father’s parents had value because of who they were.  Their grandparents and not just someone who had value because they could buy them something or babysit when needed.

It honestly never occurred to me that it would ever have to become such a challenge for me to try and win back the affection and love of my grandchildren.  

After my daughter died though, I got very, very sad and I didn’t act as happy and cheerful as I once had.  

I used to think that it was my own fault that my grandchildren didn’t seem as interested in knowing me or being around me.

I thought, if only I had called them as much as their mother’s grandmother or went broke trying to buy them more stuff that they didn’t really need.  Or maybe too if I had made more of an effort to overcome the anxiety that I felt when I was driving further than a mile or so away from my home.  Anxiety that I felt because of the trauma of finding my daughter dead.

However, I know now that it isn’t and wasn’t necessarily anything that I did or didn’t do.

My grandchildren learned a different value system than the value system that I was taught.  Along with my grandparents having value, my brothers and sisters and I were also taught that both my mother and my father had equal value and they parented together.  They didn’t compete for anything like some parents do these days.

It’s taken me a while to get my head around understanding this other value system but I think I get it now.   I can not make anyone do anything and I am grateful for what I am given.

God Bless and thank you for reading.





I Am Amazing

I know.  I can just hear all the snickers and laughter now from some who read this.  Ah well, que sa da, sa da.

The other day my friend texted me in the morning and wished me an amazing day and told me that she appreciated my friendship so much.

I texted her back and told her that I also appreciated her friendship and I hoped that she knew that.  She responded that she did know that and she felt incredibly blessed.

Blessed.  Imagine that.  Someone that feels blessed because they know that I am their friend and that I appreciate that they are my friend.

My next response to her was that I couldn’t believe that someone felt that way about me.  What I usually hear about myself is usually not very flattering.  Her last response to me was, ” Widen your circle.  You’re amazing!”

I was taken aback by this and it made me just stop and think for a second.

Up until then, I have never heard the word Amazing applied to me.

I have heard fatso, crybaby, boring, dummy, stuck-up, bitch, show-off, whore, whale out of water to name just a few.  

Oh yeah and the funniest name of all was given to me by my last boyfriend.  He said that I was an asshole.  

You see, I had the audacity to ask him what happened when he almost, mistakingly, of course, walked into my sleeping, then teen aged daughter’s bedroom thinking it was the bathroom.  I say almost because I heard him out in the hall and went out to see what he was doing.   This was not the first time that he was in my apartment.  He had been there numerous times.

All my life I’ve had my share of those who are very happy to have me see myself as less valuable.  Some have even actually contributed to having me always think that there is something wrong with me and see myself as unlikable and undesirable simply because of how I look or how I behave.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I have faults.  Everyone does.  

I get cranky in the morning if people bother me with a lot of chatter before I’ve had a chance to have my coffee and slowly wake up.  I gossip.  I can be judgemental and critical and sometimes I’m quick to react instead of just thinking about something and acting on it.  I have also had a temper tantrum or two in my lifetime as well and I can fully understand why people would not want to be around me at those times.

Truth be told, even I don’t like being around other people who behave like this any more than they like being around me when I’m behaving badly.  And believe me, growing up in our household, there was a lot of bad behavior.

I was not the only kid in my family who could pitch a fit when they didn’t get their own way or felt frustrated.  I can think of a few occasions in particular and the parties to whom I am referring shall remain nameless herein.  

The first instance was one of my sisters becoming very upset and slamming her fist on the kitchen table.  It just happened to have all the dirty dishes from dinner stacked on top of it.  Kabam!!!!  The whole table top flipped right off it’s stand and all the dirty dishes in a heap on the floor.

The next instance was when one of my sisters had a vice grip with her teeth on my chest just below my shoulder.  It broke the skin and left an imprint of her bite and she wouldn’t let go until my mother yanked her off me.  Maybe she remembers what I did because I don’t but I know that I probably did something to annoy the crap out of her and provoked the whole situation.

The last instance was when another of my sisters got mad about something and kicked a hole in the wooden kitchen door.

I think the only difference I can see between their bad behavior and mine, their bad behaviors were not the focus of who they were.

But just for the record, it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a tantrum and I really can’t remember the last time I punched a wall so be not afraid family and friends, I have a tendency these days to try and stay away from conflict and disagreements just in case you haven’t noticed.

These days I try to stay positive and find peaceful resolutions to problems.  I also do my best to try and encourage people to see their potential and believe in themselves but I never even thought about taking my own advice.

I tell people all the time, take care of you first because you can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself,  first

That there is no good that can come from always speaking negatively about yourself.  If anything, when you do it, it only reinforces the negative.

I think it’s about time I started taking my own advice.  

I am a good, loving person with a lot of love to give.  I try to accept people as they are.  I even continue to show love to those who are not capable of showing love for me.

From now on I intend to make a conscious effort to do what is best for myself first.

I will no longer bend over backwards trying to please people or beg for what I think that I deserve to be given freely.

I will make what I think of me more important than what others think of me.

I will stop saying negative things about myself every time I make a little mistake or forget something I was supposed to remember.

Life is short and I think almost 60 years is enough time spent trying to be what I think other people want me to be.

Thanks for reading.



Donald Trump….Mr. President????

I wonder if Donald Trump stood in front of the mirror saying that line over and over to see how it would sound to himself before he decided to throw himself into the Republican pool of candidates,  jockeying their position to be nominated by their party for the presidency.  I for one, would not be surprised in the least if he were to succeed.

Not because of all the great things he has proposed as solutions to what is wrong with America, but because it appears to have become the “norm” for our society to care more about celebrity,  fame, money and what everybody on social media is saying about it.

That’s one thing I’ve noticed about Mr. Trump, he seems to care very much about what everyone is saying about everything on social media.  I’ve heard him make reference to it a few times.  It’s as if everything being said must be all true to him if that’s what everyone’s saying.

But then again, if you’re Donald Trump, I guess you think you can say just about anything you want and many people will agree with it and make you popular in the polls because, and this is only my observation so far, nobody wants to be in the line of fire when it comes to Donald Trump.

In schools aren’t people who use intimidation, name calling and ridicule called bullies?  And also in schools, isn’t it easier to go along with the bully then try to fight against them for fear of retaliation?

Honestly, do we really need this kind of behavior in our White House?  

Mr. Trump said too that people are too politically correct nowadays.  He could be right about that.  Or maybe they just think it’s safer for them to say the politically correct thing when they are amongst other people.

I wonder, has anyone else paid much attention to other people around them when they are out and about in their daily routine of living their lives?  I do.  I can see so much from just watching people’s behaviors.  What I see is that so many are so disengaged from other human beings.  They are communing with their “device”.  

I can not be the only person who is able to see that, right?  Could this be one of the reasons why Donald Trump is growing in popularity?…..because it’s much easier to hate and blame when you’re hating and blaming with an electronic device and not at another human being?

At one time, before I had a cell phone or a computer, I used to think that having those devices would improve the relationships that I had with my friends and family members.  With some, communication is better and with others, something’s been lost.

Like a lot of other people, my friends and I have discussed the hopeful candidates for the Republican party and of course, much discussion about Donald Trump.  

What I hear from my friends is how ridiculous they think Mr. Trump sounds and then I listen to the news reports and he is growing in popularity.  I am confused by this.  Am I the only one?

Do people in America really think that Mexican illegal immigrants are the cause of all our hardships?  Do they really believe that “it” needs to be taken back?….whatever the “it” is….I have no idea.  Is Mr. Trump talking about, our country?, our government?  What is the “it”?   Isn’t the House of Representatives and the Senate made up mostly of Republicans now?  Wouldn’t that make them the ones with the power in Washington?  

I know that I am only one person and what I think is probably not that important to a lot of people, but I just felt that I had to say outright exactly what I think of the idea of Donald Trump becoming our next President…..SCARY!

Mr. Trump is very good and successful at creating jobs and making a lot of money but that is not all of what being the President of the United States is all about.  One would also have to be able to work well with others and I do not think he could do this.  He always wants to be the boss.  That is not a Democracy, that is a Dictatorship.

‘jus sayin’


The Importance of My Morning Coffee

It’s been so long since I’ve written anything.  Mostly because I just haven’t had the time.

Believe me, I always have plenty of ideas to write about.  It’s just having a good amount of time to finish the thought that I have at that particular moment.

I don’t know about other writers and how the process works for them but for me, I like to be able to finish what I start before I go onto the next thought.  I find that if I put off to finish something later when I have more time, my mind has already moved on to something else and my original idea gets forgotten about completely…..or at the very least, thought about again a few months later and by then it’s a totally different idea than it started out as.

I often think how great it would be if I could wake right up in the morning and immediately sit right down at my keyboard and begin my day.  However, that is not me.

Most mornings I am awakened at 6 A.M., no matter what time I go to bed, by the most irritatingly, awful sound of my beeping alarm clock.   

As quickly as I can manage, because everything on me is so stiff and hurts, I get myself out of bed so I don’t fall back to sleep.  I then get myself to the kitchen and plug in my coffee maker….first thing.

After the coffee is going, I have to take my medication for thyroid and since I can’t eat or drink anything after taking it for at least a half hour, it has to be taken even before I go to the toilet because I want to be ready as soon as I can to have my coffee.  

And that is it in a nutshell my friends……I can not do anything right away in the morning, least of all write, until I have my morning coffee…..really necessary in my life anyway.


The One That’s Not Here

I don’t know about anyone else but on occasions like today, Mother’s Day, I have a tendency to think more about those that are no longer with me on this planet.

It’s not that I think more of them than others who are still here with me.  It is that I have more thoughts about them and how much I miss them.

For a mother who has lost her only daughter, it is bitter sweet.  It feels so good when my son calls and is making a special effort for me because I am his mother and yet the emptiness that my daughter’s death has left in my heart is always there.

I can’t help but remember all the Mother’s Days of the past and how it was when both of my children were right where I thought they should be….physically with me.

I know, as much as I have these thoughts, that I am blessed to have had her physically in my life for as long as I did and that she is always still close by.

Bittersweet thoughts on Mother’s Day is part of my new normal and what better thoughts could I have today but thoughts of my two great kids, my wonderful son Adam and my beautiful, sweet daughter Katie.

Thoughts of My Ma

It’s been a long time since my mother died but I still think sometimes, “I’ll call Ma and tell her this, that or the other thing” and then I have to remind myself, “Oh yeah” and then I sigh.

I don’t do it now as much as I did shortly after she died but I do still think that way sometimes.

I still have questions that I think she would probably know the answers to.  I also would’ve liked for her to tell me more about Grandpa and him coming over to America.  And how was it with her Grandmother Caroline living right next door?

I wasn’t done wanting or needing her in my life and I miss her very much.

My mother was such a smart woman and creative too.  She used to say that “necessity was the mother of invention”.  When I was younger, I thought she was missing out on something by not doing what she loved doing, studying plants.

I used to often wonder if she hadn’t been a wife and mother, what she would have been.  I just know it probably would have been someone discovering great things about organisms and plant life because she was just so interested in always learning much more than she already knew about it.

But my mother never saw it the way I did.  I know this because I asked her once why she had so many kids and her answer to me was, “so which one would you suggest I give back Shirley?”

When I asked her that question I wasn’t thinking about wanting to send anyone back, I was just curious and I have to say that her answer only gave me more to think about…..I was just sorry that she thought I was being critical of her and her choices.

I know now my Ma was just who she was supposed to be and doing exactly what she wanted to be doing.  Thank God for my Ma being my Ma.  I feel so lucky.



Painful Lessons

I wish I knew why my life is the way it is.

I know, an understatement, right?

Was it all pre-determined before I even arrived on this planet or what?

I’m not looking for pity or attention or anything else from anyone, I am just trying to rid my head of my thoughts.

I find that writing helps me to quell the turmoil in my head.  If I get the thoughts out and get them written down somewhere, it helps to quiet my mind so that I can focus on what it is I have to do in the moment that I am living in.

Being alone is not the easiest thing for me to be.  It is something that I am still learning how to be.  I have had a lifetime of being surrounded by a lot of people, first with my parents and siblings and then with my son and my daughter. 

When my son was in high school he moved in with his father then it was my daughter and I and we lived together until her death in 2003.

After my daughter died, my son and his wife offered me a place to live with them but even in my shattered, grieving mind, I was coherent enough to know that that would NOT have been a very smart or good move for me.

Firstly, because their marriage was in trouble.  Secondly, because I knew that what she probably wanted was a live-in babysitter and as much as I love my grandchildren, I did not want to be in a position where I had no power over my own life.  Thirdly, I knew me and I knew her and I knew that I could not keep my mouth shut about her behavior and I did not want to be fighting with my son about his wife so I decided to just stay where I was at.

It’s now been almost twelve years since Katie died.  The first five or six years I was still on my grief roller-coaster ride over Katie’s death and I was grateful that I did not live with anyone.   I had the freedom to feel any way that I was feeling….I did not have to “act” any particular way if someone was uncomfortable with my sadness.

As it is, I have since found out that even though I did not live with anyone, my sadness affected some of my relationships.  I wish someone had told me at the time but that is neither here nor there, all I can do is the best I can do, today.

It is when I am alone and don’t have anywhere that I have to be when I think the most about what I do not have in my life.  I’m not talking about things.  I’m talking about people.  I try to focus on what I do have and try feeling grateful for that but the negative thoughts always seem to find their way into my head and take over my thoughts. 

Staying busy and trying to be productive is the best way I know to not be focusing on what is not in my life.  I am trying to accept that my life is the way it is supposed to be.  I have no control over people, places and things and what will be, will be.

I believe that it is purposeful that I am alone.  Perhaps the lesson is just that I am supposed to learn to live by myself and be totally self-sufficient and the only way I will learn that is to have it in my life.

I just don’t always like the way it feels when I’m learning how to do it.



The Snow is Finally Here

storm of the century 001

Today we got 14″ of snow on top of the 8 or 9″ we got last week. This is the New England weather I’ve been most familiar with all my life.

At about noon today, the maintenance crew at the apartment complex where I live started to remove the snow from the sidewalks.  Right now there is twice as much snow as there was then.

more storm 2015 001

Also, I was just watching the plow clearing the snow from the parking lot that I can see from my dining room window.  I wonder, did it really make sense to that plow driver to pile the snow up right in front of the dumpster to the point of where it’s buried?

Now, thanks to him, the maintenance men have a lot more work ahead of them…..that is of course, when all of them, (3), get the time after they finish clearing all the snow on all the sidewalks throughout this 144 apartment complex, fronts and backs of buildings.

I can remember when I was a kid, my father had a system when it came to removing the snow or for doing anything……basically it was, use common sense.  

I know he would definitely think that the plow driver did not use common sense.

My father was something.  I don’t remember him ever, voluntarily, taking a day off from work because of the weather or being sick.  Come hell or high water, he went to work.

The only times I can remember him not going to work were the times he dislocated his shoulder, (he did that twice), and the time he broke his back helping to carry a refrigerator up the stairs and it slipped and fell on him.

I remember too when I was young,  my father coming home, sometimes around 7 p.m. after a long day at work that began before 5 a.m. and having to shovel out his parking space before he could park the car.

When my sisters and I got to be about 10, 11 and 12 years old, we would help him shovel out his parking space.  One thing he always told us, no matter what it was we were doing, “if you’re going to do something, do it right.  If you don’t, someone else has to come along behind you and do it over.”

Shoveling snow is hard, back breaking work especially if the snow is heavy and dense but I can remember loving being out in the dark with my father and my sisters, on William Sands Jr. Rd. helping him shovel just because we were out there with him.

Later on, as we got older, it wasn’t quite as much a treat anymore to be out shoveling out my father’s parking spot.  Most of the time, it was us doing it before he got home from work so he wouldn’t have to.  Not because we wanted to but because our Mom told us to and it was done as good as if my father had done it himself.

Not necessarily because we had to but because we wanted to.  We had learned from my father that in doing a good job, you acquire a sense of pride and accomplishment in yourself.

Things really have changed so much from when I was a kid. Nowadays many people no longer care whether they do a good job or not…..they just want to get it done.

The plow driver burying the dumpster in heaps of snow is a perfect example of the half-assed work I’m talking about and don’t even get me started on how well the sidewalks that I have to use to walk to work on are cleared….not enough time right now to go into that particular little pain in my ass.

Anyway, the snow is finally here.  There is lots of it and at least it’s much easier to walk on than all the ice that we were getting earlier in the season.  

Grateful for snow and not ice and thank you for reading.

So Where is all the Freakin’ Snow??????

This is New England for crying out loud….we are supposed to have snow, not this bleepin’  ice!!!!!  At least when they clear a path in the snow and it’s packed down, you can walk on it without slipping and falling on your ass and possibly breaking something.

I’m so mad because I just had to give up 5 hrs. of time and a half because I can’t get to work.  I can’t even walk down the sidewalk in the front of my apartment building.  It’s a thin sheet of ice, just enough to make it impossible to walk on.  My body is getting old and I’ve gotten very afraid of falling and hurting myself really bad.

Not to mention how I’m leaving everybody who is there at work, working hard, in a lurch….like my boss, who is the best boss I’ve had since I’ve worked for this company.  I feel like I’m letting her down terribly.

I know right now she is probably not too happy with me and that she has to deal with one more thing that seems to be the nature of and normal for our business these days but I know she will appreciate that she would have done the same thing if it were herself in my situation.

And wouldn’t you know that since I’ve ordered some cleats to walk on ice with, the weather couldn’t cooperate at least until they arrived within the next couple of days.  OF COURSE NOT!!!! 

Watch, once I get them, it’ll probably snow for the rest of the winter and I probably won’t even get to use them at all.

I know this would be a situation that is perfect for the use of the Serenity Prayer but since I’m not yet at a point where I can immediately turn to prayer……I NEED TO JUST RANT…….OKAY?  arrrrghhhh!!!!

Okay….now I feel better and I will just say “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference……thy will, not mine be done.”,  Amen.

Thank you for reading.



“Here’s what’cha can’t have Benny”……..Minnie Driver in the movie “Circle of Friends”

That is exactly how I feel sometimes……..the world is full of wonderful things, people and situations but it hasn’t been my lot that I am supposed to have them like everyone else.  

My life is such that I constantly struggle against the effects of not ever having a lot of positive, opportunistic things happening in my life like I see so many others having.

I used to be much more optimistic but it has become much more work for me to maintain the optimism.

Just one point right here that I’d like to stop and make though, is that contrary to what some might think, I am not looking to be pitied when I write what I write, I am merely expressing, with honesty, the feelings that I have and that I go through occasionally.  I know that “this to shall pass”.

Don’t get me wrong, I do know that my life is not supposed to be exactly the same as anyone else’s.  Everyone on this planet may have many similarities in their lives but they’re not supposed to be exactly the same……I know this.

I also know that most people have periods of time where things happening in their lives are not always positive……I know, that’s life……I get it!

I guess my point is that even though I know all this, I sometimes go through periods where I compare what I’m getting to what others are getting and in my eyes, it just always seems like I am getting less than what other’s are getting.

When this happens, after wallowing in self-pity for a time, (sometimes a lot, sometimes briefly), I have to start reminding myself of the things that I am grateful for having in my life instead of focusing on what I don’t have.

And for here, right now in this minute, I am grateful that my fingers are working and I am able to type this out.  

I am grateful that I woke up this morning,

that I can breathe,  

that my son Adam called and wished me a Merry Christmas,

that my legs and feet worked the way they were supposed to and I was able to walk my dog earlier,

that I had my beautiful daughter Katie in my life for 28 years,

and so it goes.

Gratitude is the mender for me…..thank God I can still think of things to be grateful for.

I know that others will still end up with different things, people and situations in their lives that I will not get but no one is getting anything that is supposed to be mine either.

Everyone gets what they need to get to help them to become the best human being that they can become…..this I know !

Thank you for reading and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


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